There is simply no easy way to cope with the loss, hurt and betrayal that is triggered by a breakup - especially a breakup that you neither wanted nor expected. The thought of the person you deeply cared for not feeling the same way is heartbreaking. It's hard to know which direction to turn. You may be aware of hordes of advice from all sides that claim to be able to reconnect your relationship, but all of the advice is contradictory. The good news is that getting your relationship back is fully possible. The bad news is that following an incorrect path could blow your chances for good. By not rushing and fully considering your various options, starting down the path towards reconnecting with your ex can be a success. Patience is your biggest asset here, but if you're willing to take your time it can pay off in spades.
-1: Harness Your Initial Reactions:
As tempting as it may be to lash out and vent all of your hurt and frustration on your ex, it's one of the least productive actions you can take. The reality of a breakup is that the party that ends the relationship has mulled over the idea thoroughly. They've already imagined all of your possible arguments. They're set on their decision for whatever reason, and their mind is not open to the possibility of changing. Trying to force the issue is like pushing a boulder uphill - it will only wear you out until you're eventually run down and trampled by defeat.
Now is not the time to press the issue. It's better to wait until you can approach the situation calmly and your ex has had the chance to open their mind. That means for now you need to bide your time and wait it out. It may make you feel uneasy, but the payoff is worth the discomfort - at least for now.
-2: Exercise Self-Control and Don't Crowd:
The common misconception after a breakup is that if you take steps to separate yourself from your ex, they'll forget about you and you'll only be encouraging them to move on without you. The actual reality is far different. You can't just magically forget about someone once you've ended a relationship. There's a reason that a common old saying says that absence makes the heart grow fonder - and that reality is never clearer than when you've recently experienced a breakup that you never wanted to happen at all.
Your ex may be expecting you to overwhelm them with texts, phone calls, emails or even in-person run-ins. As much as they may roll their eyes about the possibility externally, inwardly they enjoy the attention. It helps keep the loneliness at bay long enough for them to deal with the breakup on their own terms and makes them feel wanted. Staying out of sight can give you a definitive advantage that they're not expecting. It makes them wonder about you instead of finding easy answers, and when the answers they're after are not forthcoming, they will have to resort to other methods which may mean continued contact on their end - not on yours.
-3: Make Yourself into the Ideal Version of You Possible:
Try to move past the breakup and focus on how you were back when you and your ex first met. This may require some effort if your relationship lasted for a significant amount of time. Can you point out obvious differences between the person you were back then and the person you are now? That is going to be your starting point to recreating yourself into a more positive, stable and ideal person without having to fake being something or someone that you're not.
Ultimately there was a reason that your ex first fell in love with you, and multiple factors may have contributed. Maybe you were the life of the party then and now you're more of a homebody. Maybe you were full of energy then and now you always seem to be tired. As silly as these distinctions may seem, they may have played a role in your breakup. By addressing these issues collectively and individually and bringing some of your former self to life, you are allowing your ex the opportunity to remember how good things used to be between you - and that can make them long for that time again, and ultimately make them want you again.
-4: Recreate a Need and Get an Ex to Chase You:
Since your ex is the one that broke the relationship off, it may seem unlikely that they'll have a change of heart and be willing to pursue a relationship with you again. That often translates into an inner need that makes you want to break your code of silence and reach out first. Doing so would be a colossal mistake. No matter how hard it seems, you need to stand your ground.
By staying away - even if your ex is starting to make efforts to contact you - you are increasing their desire to reconnect. They're thinking about you and their curiosity is definitely growing the longer you wait. At the pivotal moment you're going to reconnect - and then you can show yourself off and paint yourself in the best possible light.
Don't think that you can play such an important situation by ear. If you try to pull this off without a proper plan in place, you're guaranteed to make a misstep along the way. In a breakup scenario, one mistake could be fatal and you want to avoid them at all costs. Having a plan can limit the possibility for error and maximize your potential to succeed.
What To Do Next
To win your ex back you will see that it takes effort and restraint on your part. There are more things that you should be doing to increase your chances of being successful. Look into contact with your ex post break up to see if you are doing the right things to reignite desire and interest on their part.
It might also be useful to figure out the real reasons why you were dumped in the first place. Your ex was probably not entirely honest with you to spare your feelings. You have to know the truth though to be able to fix things.
Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/win-your-ex-back-now-follow-these-steps
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